This post is brought to you by two of Dr. Mike’s favorite topics: all things 80’s and dentistry.
Top 80’s Movie Character’s That Need a Dentist
The Wolf from Teen Wolf
While we understand the extended canines are part of the whole “wolf” appeal (not to mention a requirement for the carnivorous diet), his mandibular teeth are a bit crowded and cause his chin to protrude. He definitely isn’t the ugliest “dog” we’ve ever seen (Buzz’s girlfriend on the other hand, woof!), but Twilight took the whole animal-person thing to the next level and we think the Wolf might up his game a bit both on and off the basketball court with a little closer attention to his oral hygiene.
Hoggle from Labyrinth
Hoggle made it extremely clear to Sarah that he didn’t need any friends, but anyone who has seen the movie knows better. When she gave him those bracelets, he practically melted. We think that stepping up his oral hygiene game may help him a bit with friends outside the goblin kingdom. The dental standards in the goblin world seem pretty low so we don’t think a lot of cosmetic work would be best for his lifestyle, but bad breath is unacceptable in all circumstances even in the bog of eternal stench. We think Hoggle would keep Darla and Brenda busy for a few days with cleaning, scaling and root planing and firm personal hygiene education.
Alf from Alf
While Alf technically isn’t a movie character, he is an 80’s legend and with his lack of dentition in general, we felt he was a reasonable exception to the list. For as much as Alf talked about eating cats, we think he was all hype; there is no way with only four teeth that he could eat one without some serious cutting utensils. As far as dental recommendations go, we think he would be a great candidate for implant-supported dentures due to his advanced aged. He might even make a comeback with his new grin.
Maurice from Little Monsters
Talk about the perfect veneer case! Holy moly, would Maurice make for some beautiful “before and after” pics. His bad boy, late night, hiding under the bed lifestyle may not seem like it calls for a nice smile, but we think his self-esteem would sky rocket with pearly whites that actually have some contact.
Chewbacca from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Oh man! Where to even start – other than our multiple attempts to make the Chewbacca sound (good thing you are reading this rather than having a live audio of our attempts). Aside from his canines, Chewbacca has completely worn his mandibular (bottom) teeth down to his gums and has to be in some serious pain! Because there doesn’t appear to be enough tooth structure for even a crown, Dr. Mike would have to do some serious extractions. Once his mouth had time to heal, Dr. Mike could put in a few implants and then set him up with an implant-supported bridge. Dr. Chris would then have to work his magic with orthodontics on his maxillary (top) teeth and finish up with Zoom whitening. We know it wouldn’t be long before the Wookiee ladies would be all over this fresh-faced stud.
Betelgeuse from Beetlejuice
“Day, me say day, me say day, me say DAAAAY-OOO” Talk about breath. Man, we feel like we can smell it through the computer screen. We would need to start Beetlejuice off with a good old-fashioned toothbrush, toothpaste and floss. After forcing him to brush and floss a few or 50 times, we would enlist the help of Darla or Brenda for a very thorough cleaning. While the overall arch, contact and alignment of Beetlejuice’s teeth look surprisingly good, Dr. Mike or Dr. Chris might suggest we adjust the length of his centrals (front teeth) so they match and do a slight gingival reduction to provide a better tooth-to-gum ratio for a less “gummy” smile. Beetlejui… wait, we probably shouldn’t say his name a third time. Mr. Juice could be back in the dating scene before he knew it, this time with hopefully people closer to his age and post-mortal status.
Sloth from Goonies
“HEY YOU GUYS!!!” While Sloth would most likely benefit from visiting several types of medical professionals, a dentist should definitely be high on his priority list. With some good ortho from Dr. Chris, implants from Dr. Mike and a few rounds of whitening, we think he could get a fresh start in life and perhaps the dating world (that is if he hasn’t found his soulmate already…).
The moral of the story is: no matter what your background or life (or after-life) situation may be, good oral hygiene and a great relationship with your dentist can give you a renewed self-esteem and fresh perspective on life.